Gold Star Families talk of losing relatives in Iraq
'The worst pain imaginable'
http://www.2theadvocate.com/news/2488706.html
By SONYA KIMBRELL
Advocate staff writer
Published: Mar 19, 2006
Advocate staff photo by JAMES CHANCE
Marybeth LeVan signed permission when her then-17-year-old son, Lance Cpl. Kyle Jason Grimes, wanted to enlist in the United States Marine Corps.
Pictures around LeVan’s living room show a strikingly handsome young man in his dress blue uniform.
“Sept. 11 hadn’t happened yet. I think I might have had doubts. At the time, I was thrilled that he had that kind of direction at such a young age,” LeVan said.
For the last year, LeVan has turned such thoughts over and over.
A 21-year-old native of Pennsylvania, Grimes was among 30 Marines and one Navy hospital corpsman killed Jan. 26, 2005 aboard a U.S. helicopter that crashed in a desert sandstorm in Iraq. According to news reports, the CH-53E Super Stallion was carrying Grimes and the others on a security mission in support of Iraq’s elections when it went down about 1:20 a.m. near Rutbah, about 220 miles west of Baghdad.
LeVan is also a Pennsylvania native but has lived in Baton Rouge for five years. Her son planned to attend LSU after he got out of the Marines.
While many families choose to grieve privately, LeVan has been open with media, allowing reporters and photographers into her home and granting interviews several times over the last year.
She has said that’s because she is grateful her son is not forgotten.
After her son died, her earlier interest in the movements of the Iraqi war has dimmed.
“I skim the headlines. That’s about it,” she said.
She does believe two things, though: One is that the war has lasted longer than anyone anticipated. But more disturbing is that she thinks support for the troops is fading.
“It’s important that we should support the troops,” LeVan said.
Growing up in peacetime, LeVan said she never had a true appreciation for Veterans Day.
“It was just another reason to have a picnic,” she said.
She sees it differently now, and feels that patriotism is important. She also said she’s found herself angry reading about Cindy Sheehan, whose son, U.S. Army Spc. Casey Sheehan, died in Iraq in April 2004.
“She upsets me. What would her son think? He chose an honorable path,” LeVan said.
Renewed patriotism and political conscience aside, LeVan is a mother who lost her only son. She’s not sure that how the loss came about makes much difference on the emotions.
“It’s the worst pain imaginable,” she said.
For months, she was obsessed with her son and her grief.
“It’s gotten better. I still feel incredibly sad, but I can be with friends and do things now,” she said.
LeVan dreams about her son frequently. They’re different. In one, he is grown, but she carries him like a baby. There’s one constant in her dreams, though.
“He always gives me roses,” she said.