Marine Corps News Room

http://www.usmc.mil/marinelink/mcn2000.nsf/main5/128AF90916BFDF8F852570A50002EA8C?opendocument

Submitted by: Marine Forces Pacific
Story Identification #: 20051024203151
Story by Lance Cpl. R. Drew Hendricks

U.S. MARINE CORPS FORCES, PACIFIC, CAMP H. M. SMITH, Hawaii (Oct. 24, 2005) -- In 2004, 2,235 enlisted Marines divorced, according to the Defense Manpower Data Center. This brought the divorce rate in the Marine Corps up to about 65 percent, 20 percent more than the average rate in the U.S., according to the DMDC.

While the number of young people getting married in the U.S. has been declining, the number of married Marines between the ages of 17 and 21 has continued to increase, and so has the divorce rate.

According to the Training and Education Command, there are five recurring reasons why a young Marine decides to rush to the edge of commitment and dive in headfirst.

The first is the lure of more money, according to TECOM.

When the military went to an all-volunteer force, pay was increased and family entitlements were expanded to attract more recruits.

By calling attention to family benefits such as Basic Allowance for Housing, separation allowances and commuted rations, the military created the "financial illusion" that married military couples make more money than single servicemember. So, a number of first-term Marines came to believe they could support a spouse and children on their military pay and live more comfortably than in the barracks, according to TECOM.

The second most common reason is that young Marines want to leave barracks life behind. Rules, regulations, being constantly under a watchful eye and field day are all reasons Marines long to leave the barracks.

“Marines need to understand that getting married will leave you in the same position, if not worse,” said Sgt. Jeremiah J. Burcher, the administrative noncommissioned officer in charge here. “I got married when I was 19. I wanted to get out of the barracks. All it did was open the door for more problems and ultimately ended up in divorce.”

Burcher went on to give examples of challenges a Marine would face after leaving the barracks:

·You have to get a car, and in some cases two, if you do not already own one.

·You have to drive to work everyday. Gas and insurance are expensive.

·Homes, apartments and condos are not cheap, even with basic housing allowance.

·If you don’t marry for love, you will most likely end up unhappy.

·The extra money you get will just have to go to the new expenses. One paycheck has to feed, clothe and keep two people happy.

Inevitably you are right back where you started.

The next problem stems from the unique challenges of Marine life.

“Military life can make you lonely,” said Cpl. Theresa Medina, who got divorced after three years of marriage. “I didn’t want to be alone, so, I got married very quickly.”

According to Cmdr. Jeffrey Rhodes, the deputy force chaplain here, it is very important that a person does not look at marriage as simply a way out of loneliness.
“Do not search for the one you want to marry, search for the one you love,” he said.

Medina, a combat illustrator here, added, “I should have spent more time looking for the right one, not the right now.”

The fourth reason young Marines get married is a lack of insight. According to TECOM, a lot of young Marines are simply suckered into getting married.

“If a couple gets married within a month of meeting each other, chances are one of them should revaluate the motives behind it,” said Rhodes.

Servicemembers are entitled to benefits that are of great value, such as medical and life insurance, housing allowances and commissary benefits. These can be a large attraction for future wives and husbands, according to Sgt. Major J.D. Williams, the Headquarters and Service
Battalion, Marine Corps Forces, Pacific, sergeant major.

The last reason ties all of them together. Immaturity is the largest factor in the equation of a ruined marriage.

“It seems to me that Marines do not have much control over their careers, but the do have control over their personal lives. So, choosing to get married might simply be an exercise of control,” said Arlene McCormack, a Marine Corps Community Services family care advisor.

Each agrees that younger Marines fail to realize marriage does not solve all the problems.
According to McCormack, a Marine considering marriage should take as much time as possible to ensure they are comfortable with their motives to marry and to evaluate all the positives and negatives of their decision.

“If a Marine wants to get married I believe they should talk to their supervisor first, if only for advice. It’s always good to have a second opinion,” said Rhodes. “Also the Marine should consider talking to a chaplain; not just for religious advice but for basic marriage counseling as well.”

Chaplains are not the only resource for marriage counseling. MCCS One Source provides free marriage counseling for anyone who needs it, either in person or on the phone. If the Marine is interested they can call 1-800-869-0278 or look online at http://www.usmc-mccs.org/onesource/index.cfm.

“If a Marine wants to get married or is even considering marriage, he or she needs to think long and hard about the decision he or she is going to make, and should take advantage of all the advice and premarital counseling offered,” said Williams. “A marriage is nothing to take lightly, because if it fails, it doesn’t just ruin one life, it destroys two.”